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Best man speeches / bride's maid speeches

At Hoverdays we get a lot of stag and hen parties coming to North Wales for the weekend. We like to be as helpful as possible in order that the organiser of the weekend has as little to do as possible. Below are a suggestions for your speech on the big day. These are taken from http://www.thebestmanspeech.com

Ice-breaker

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - Before I start, let me just say that the formative years I spent in the company of the groom means that he had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible, please blame Paul if it's not.

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - Let me first say that the bridesmaids look absolutely smashing today, and only rightly outshone by our bride, Linda. And, I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen, today is a sad day for single men, as another beauty leaves the available list. And ladies, I'm sure you'll agree that today's passing by without much of a ripple.

Humour

In the run-up to today, Paul and Linda had a bit of an issue with the seating plan, because they really couldn’t decide who to put where. So as best man, I offered to step in and help work something out. What we finally decided was to use the wedding present list, and put those who bought the biggest items nearest the front, and work it back from there. So if they can hear me at the back there, thank you to Tony and Sue for the oven glove.

There are some stories you can tell at a wedding and then there are others that might be interesting to tell, but can't really be told. The ones that Paul invented about himself for the Reader's Letters section of Penthouse magazine would be a perfect example.

My main duty today is to give you all an introduction to the groom, relating tales about his crazy adventures as a young man, his run-ins with the police, the marathon sessions in the pub and his string of meaningless flings. I should then introduce the benevolent influence of the bride on our young hero, as she struggled to tame a man with an approach to life that combined ape-like urges with gay abandon. Of course, I can't cover everything, so I'm just going to concentrate on the gay abandon.

None of you will know this, but I've actually congratulated the groom already. 'Paul,' I said to him, 'Well done! You will always look back on today as the happiest and best thing you've ever done.' Fitting words, I thought, at the end of a fantastic stag do.

Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you have just got married to Paul Wilson.

More here